“If left to our own devices we will fail. We can’t do this alone.” – Tennie McCarty
I arrived. I survived. I am detoxed. After six days of intense therapy and a diet abstaining from caffeine, flour, sugar and gluten, I feel better than I have in years! Or ever? I haven’t been without one of the listed since I was about… let’s see here… since I finished nursing! Yep, I probably got big doses of sugar while eating baby food, then moved into flour and gluten shortly after. I think I started drinking sodas around five years old, now that’s before there was “Diet” colas. Fast forward to when I could make my own decisions on meals and gather the food myself and… well… you know how the story goes. Today is June 6th 2011, I am 31 years old, and this is the first time since I quit breast feeding that I’ve not been consuming an addictive substance. Wow… this my friends is the first gift Shades of Hope gives you.
First, you must remember that the six day is designed to scratch the surface, to identify your core issues and to educate you on the tools needed to recover and to stay Abstinent. You will not walk out of Shades of Hope after a week healed. If anyone or any treatment center says that you will… they are lying. The big book clearly states that there is no cure for the disease of addiction. You can only abstain. That is the message of Shades of Hope. I didn’t say restriction… I said Abstinent. There is a difference. To put it simply, you just don’t use. If you are a purger, you don’t purge. If you are an alcoholic, you don’t drink. If you are an over eater, you use portion control. It’s so simple its hard. Like we didn’t already know that, right?! Like I didn’t know that all I have to do is stop! Tell us something we don’t know! Well, my friends… something you may not know is that yes, you can be relieved from your obsession. This I can promise you with out any doubt, reservation or guilt. You can recover.
This is what Tennie McCarty told us the first day, “If you want to recover this is what you do! Pray, keep a conscious contact with your higher power. Read the literature. Work the 12 steps with a sponsor and teach someone else. This is how you will recover.” Again, its so simple. I asked her why so many fail with such a simple program. She quickly answered, “Because they don’t keep a conscience contact with the God of their understanding and they hold on to their resentments.” Resentments…. Resentments are the number one killer. Working through your pain, fears and resentments is what the 6 day is all about. The process (anger work) as SOH puts it, is both beautiful and terrifying. I don’t know how else to describe it except as, it is a purging of your anger. No lie, its intense. Being able to let go of your shame, anger and pain is the second gift that Shades of Hope offers.
These are just two of the many gifts that I was given during my week at Shades Of Hope. I kept a video journal each night describing my day and feelings during the program. If you are considering participating in the week long intensive, I hope that the videos will give you a little insight into the program. Please, understand that they aren’t scripted… it is just me… my feelings and what I know. Like I say, I’m not a therapist, I’m not an expert I’m just one of you As for my life after the 6 day… it’s just beginning! I have taken the advice that I have been given and have already put them to pratical use. This morning I got down on my knees and prayed to my higher power, tonight I will read from the big book, I’m about to call my sponsor and… if you have learned anything from this blog, then I might have just taught someone.
My name is Brock Cravy and I’m addicted to Me.
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